Are They Speaking Your Language?
The five love languages have been a hot topic lately. It is similar to a personality assessment in that it asks a series of questions. Instead of determining what type of personality you have, this test reveals how you would like to be shown love. I took the test and my three love languages are receiving gifts, physical touch and words of affirmation. This is pretty spot on as I can relate and see how these three things play a role in how I prefer to receive and show love.
Now you’ve taken this test and discover that your mate doesn’t have the same love language or doesn’t agree or know how to fulfill yours? What do you do?? I posed the question to my girlfriends, half of who are married. The rest of us are having hot girl summer- lol. Anyway, I wanted to know what happens if someone doesn’t give you what your test results say you need. Do you just settle and learn to adapt or do you move on?
The convo immediately jumped off. One of my friends, who shall remain anonymous to protect the innocent, said it is important to know the other person's love language because it’s a way to communicate and show love towards someone. If they don’t do it, show them. Of course it won’t happen overnight, but effort has to be made. You wont get it right 100% of the time but the effort has to be 100%. In this case I would have to say I agree.
Another comment was straight and to the point: The only thing that should settle is dust. Well church pass the pan. That was a word all by itself. I have learned that when you settle you are not helping anyone but the other person. You end up miserable and ultimately unfilled. At times you may not be helping that person or showing love that is truly genuine. You are just doing it to say you did. This is NOT what a relationship should be about. I never want to be in a relationship where I have settled because I desperately wanted to make someone happy and not equally as happy. Nah, sis.
Another friend said you know your breaking point! Well, I don’t know if I can totally relate here. So you stay in something until it breaks you down? Then you leave and are no good for yourself or the next relationship. When is it good to say "okay this isn’t going to work?” I think of a relationship like a job. We show up every day doing what we love and sometimes hate to get paid. Well a relationship requires just as much work, with hopes of feeling loved, appreciated, and valued. It is a lot of work, but why stay when it isn’t going well. This is not good for anyone. Not for me.. Nah, sis
What are your thoughts on the topic?