top of page

Relationships: Being Intentional

I was having a conversation with a friend about dating. She said that there aren’t many options out here so she’s just getting what she could. If you know me then you know my response was either brutally honest or a simple oh. I went with the latter because I was disappointed in her approach to the dating world. Then I began thinking about my past weekend, when I attended my cousin’s wedding. When it was time to get the garter, there were about 5 guys that went up vs about 25 ladies that went up to catch the bouquet. In that moment my cousin and I said damn, the pool really is small when it comes to finding a man. Anyway, back to my story about my friend. I didn’t give her my perspective because for one, we are in two different phases in life. However, the comment did spark more dialogue with my sister and cousin about it. I am firm believer in not settling for anything! Like my friend, many of us have experienced bad relationships and situationships. For me, that is the motivator to be intentional about dating. Yes, we are getting older and many of us want companionship, but at what price? “Getting what you can” sounds like “I will deal with and take whatever they give.” That is a huge NO NO in my book. I am a big advocate in receiving what you deserve and that does not equal less then. As Tyler Perry recently stated in a podcast, have people meet you at your worth. The pool may be slim or tainted, but it still shouldn’t make us jump into something just because the clock is ticking. My other cousin recently got engaged and she talked about her list of what she was looking for in a partner. She ended up with that person because she never wavered. I encourage all of you to know what you want and make those things non-negotiables. Some days in the dating world it may feel like you are hanging in there and other days it feels like you are just barely holding on! Don’t settle. I am not married….yet, but I do know when that time comes it will be on my terms, what feels right and is the absolute best for me. Will it be perfect? I’m not sure, but I do know that it will be intentional.

With Love,



bottom of page